This year even though my Multiple Sclerosis was acting up I managed to get up and fix a few things for us to eat. I couldn’t have dont it without the help of Resa, Mat and Yuri though.
Our oldest some came home this afternoon for a few hours and even though he doesn’t live here anymore he did help clean the kitchen (and went home with lots of food to tide him over for the week).
Mat fixed a big pot of gumbo for this afternoon. Him and Resa also fixed a pork tenderloin that was out of this world. (I think this was his best gumbo yet.) Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot of gumbo left over but at least there is enough for us to have some for lunch tomorrow.
The one word that rang out all morning was “cr**” and a few other choice words. Wtih my MS acting up I did manage to drop quite a few things today and the dog was loving it. Resa ended up helping put items in the oven and Mat was taking them out so that they everything didn’t wind up on the floor. Oh the joys of having MS and dropping items. I have learned not to carry anything that is glass because it will just be broken eventually.
Resa learned how to make banana bread, banana pudding, pound cake, chocolate cake with a divinity icing, mississippi mud and bread. She also helped her daddy cook. If it wouldn’t have been for her help we wouldn’t have had all the goodies to eat today but this is also great family time. We were all in the kitchen cooking and laughing. We would take breaks and she would run off to her “workshop” and paint us a picture.
This may not have been the Christmas we were used to having in the past but we still managed to keep some of the tradtions alive and I think made some new ones. It was so nice working side by side in the kitchen with Resa. I think this is something that she will remember most of all. I loved helping my grandmother and mother in the kitchen at Christmas.
Now it will take me a few days to recover from today but I think it was worth it. By this afternoon my headaches were back and my voice is slipping. I do think the one symptom Mat likes is when I lose my voice.
I only hope that it doesn’t take too long for me to recover because while Resa is out of school I need to take her clothes shopping and we are also wanting to surprise her with a trip to Great Wolf Lodge. I LOVE going to Great Wolf Lodge. It is the one place where we can actually enjoy a vacation and even if my MS does give me problems Resa can enjoy herself while I try to relax.
Everything is self-contained. It is a huge indoor waterpark that has tons for the children to do. Even Mat enjoys himself there.
Multiple Sclerosis and stress are not best friends but hated enemies.
Yesterday was one of the most stressful and upsetting days I have had in a very long time.
We had tried to do something good for others and it came back to bite us in the a**. I have learned that you will see the true side of someone when you least expect it.
But thanks to yesterday I had an even worse night than the previous two and my MS is officially exacerbated.
I hate how just one day of being overwhelmed, stressed or upset can harm a human body as much as it does. It has been a very long time since I have had I uncontrollable chills and they have been nonstop since about four am.
This is the one week too that I don’t need my MS to act up as well. The list of what I have to do is extremely long.
I had hoped to go out to out camp next week and spend the week doing nothing more than writing while Resa played but after yesterday that is the last place I want to be, which is sad that this is what it has come down to.
I am even in a more bah humbug mood than before and not looking forward to Christmas at all. I had wanted to sit down with my mom and work on a book idea we had been working on and can’t even find the joy and anticipation in that.
I have been fighting depression for a few weeks now and it is winning the battle right now.
Pre MS I was able to handle stress and it never once bothered me. I thrived on stress. Now it takes everything out of me.
This is truly one of those days where I desperately wish I could hide from the world yet instead I get to go chaperone a field trip today.
On the bright side I get to go see Frosty The Snowman and Rudolph with munchkin.
It seems as if multiple sclerosis and depression go hand in hand yet most of us hide the fact that we suffer from depression.
I must admit that I am one that doesn’t like to tell anyone that the depression can be overwhelming at times. There is nothing wrong with admitting that the depression and the disease is getting to you, it happens to all of us that suffer with most autoimmune diseases.
Even now as I am writing this post I am having a hard time figuring out exactly what to say except that there is nothing wrong in telling someone that the depression is getting to you. I have a good friend that I can turn to when the depression becomes overwhelming. I do beleive we all need someone we can turn to when things get so bad that you just need someone to vent to.
I have also found that for some reason yoga helps me find some kind of inner peace. I haven’t figured out why but for a short while I can actually clear my mind and find some sort of peace.