While dealing with this current Multiple Sclerosis exacerbation I have come to realize that not enough thanks is given to the caregivers.
As much as I would like to crawl under a rock and wait for the flare up to be done with I know that without Mat here to help me I would be totally lost.
As hard as it is to live with the exacerbation it has to be twice as hard for the caregiver as well. Mat not only has to help me but he has to watch as a take another step backwards.
As much as I would like to stay independent these last few days I have needed help – more in making sure Resa is taken care of, cooking etc.
These last few days Mat has done his regular working job, helped out with Resa and the house, cooked and also make sure that I have not busted my head wide open by falling.
So this morning I would like to take the time to thank Mat for all that he does for me and the family as well as all the other caregivers out there.
You may not think your work is appreciated but it most certainly is.
I have such a wonderful husband. He not only puts up with the disabilities that assaults my body day-in and day-out but he also has to put up with my mood swings. Today is one of those days where I am suffering from severe depression and doubting all that I do.
I must admit that these days are more and more frequent lately. Today has been one of the worst in a while and I am not afraid to admit it. I was entirely ready to throw in the towel and give up writing.
Mat did what he does best and gave me words of encouragement. He reminded me that the whole reason I started to write was to give me something to keep my mind busy. As much as I hate to admit it, he is right once again. Writing has been a great therapy for me and if nothing else I will keep it up just to give me something to do other than watch TV all day.
I am having to accept reality lately. My legs are starting to act up once again, this time worse than they have in the past. We have known that this day was coming but I am still not ready to accept that my legs are losing strength. I am not ready to let the MonSter win and there is still some fight left in my body. As long as I have Mat around for his support and words of encouragement I can find the courage to continue fighting.
For those of you who suffer from the dreaded optic neuritis pain, ice pick headaches and the aggravating muscle twitches I highly suggest you try Botox.
I got to an actual doctor to have the injections but they are so worth the pain. By the time I had left the doctor’s office the headaches had left and the muscle twitches gone. The muscle relaxers had also kicked in and I could actually walk better (at least move without extreme pain).
For those of you who live in the Morgan City area I highly recommend Mea’s Medi Spa. The staff there is so accommodating and friendly. The atmosphere is also very relaxing
This year even though my Multiple Sclerosis was acting up I managed to get up and fix a few things for us to eat. I couldn’t have dont it without the help of Resa, Mat and Yuri though.
Our oldest some came home this afternoon for a few hours and even though he doesn’t live here anymore he did help clean the kitchen (and went home with lots of food to tide him over for the week).
Mat fixed a big pot of gumbo for this afternoon. Him and Resa also fixed a pork tenderloin that was out of this world. (I think this was his best gumbo yet.) Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot of gumbo left over but at least there is enough for us to have some for lunch tomorrow.
The one word that rang out all morning was “cr**” and a few other choice words. Wtih my MS acting up I did manage to drop quite a few things today and the dog was loving it. Resa ended up helping put items in the oven and Mat was taking them out so that they everything didn’t wind up on the floor. Oh the joys of having MS and dropping items. I have learned not to carry anything that is glass because it will just be broken eventually.
Resa learned how to make banana bread, banana pudding, pound cake, chocolate cake with a divinity icing, mississippi mud and bread. She also helped her daddy cook. If it wouldn’t have been for her help we wouldn’t have had all the goodies to eat today but this is also great family time. We were all in the kitchen cooking and laughing. We would take breaks and she would run off to her “workshop” and paint us a picture.
This may not have been the Christmas we were used to having in the past but we still managed to keep some of the tradtions alive and I think made some new ones. It was so nice working side by side in the kitchen with Resa. I think this is something that she will remember most of all. I loved helping my grandmother and mother in the kitchen at Christmas.
Now it will take me a few days to recover from today but I think it was worth it. By this afternoon my headaches were back and my voice is slipping. I do think the one symptom Mat likes is when I lose my voice.
I only hope that it doesn’t take too long for me to recover because while Resa is out of school I need to take her clothes shopping and we are also wanting to surprise her with a trip to Great Wolf Lodge. I LOVE going to Great Wolf Lodge. It is the one place where we can actually enjoy a vacation and even if my MS does give me problems Resa can enjoy herself while I try to relax.
Everything is self-contained. It is a huge indoor waterpark that has tons for the children to do. Even Mat enjoys himself there.